This isn’t a long blog. But I just have had a few really hectic, emotion filled weeks which have some days been so busy that I haven’t had time to stop and think. Third year at uni is actually crazy. Things at home seem to have gotten a little bit messy again and my heart breaks for some of my family and the crazy sometimes insane things that are happening with them. And my heart breaks because it seems that within those situations they have no hope. No hope for change and no hope for a future filled with good and not a future of disaster but a future filled with hope.
Things are all over the place and truthfully I feel broken as well. I thought I was broken all those months ago but I feel broken all over again. But within that I feel a hope. Within the brokenness is where God reaches deep into our hearts. It’s when we are truly broken and can sit in that for a while and realise the depth of that that we realise and understand the grace and restoration that God can bring into our lives and hearts. That acknowledgment of the brokenness is where the healing can truly begin. Because the last option when we are at our lowest place, desperate to see change and desperate to walk in lightness and not in darkness is to acknowledge our need for our heavenly fathers touch. Nothing can bring greater peace and hope and light than knowing our true need for God. This is where a certain sense of sweetness can be found.
I have no quick and easy method of how to fix messy situations. Sometimes it’s easy to just say I’ll pray about it or to tell a friend who’s broken, I’ll pray for you. Life seems more realistically harder than that. But what we can do is walk every day just releasing slowly more and more to daddy God. Trusting Him in the everyday. Releasing our hopes and dreams to him every day. Asking Him to show us His plans for our lives. And letting Him rebuild us. That’s where I am at. Slowly, slowly. The biggest blessing God has given me is my incredible friends. He has provided such an amazing support network around me. People who will speak truth into my life and gently rebuke me when needed and people who just listen and love me. Sometimes that’s all we need to be for people or need for ourselves. Is an arm around the shoulder and to hear or to say “friend I’m here walking with you.” Sometimes as well I have to admit a bit of Diet Coke and Cadburys does not go amiss!!!
I know a load of people will find this blog hard to read cos it’s a bit messy and its emotional and its real but you know what it’s the truth that life isn’t always black and white. It can be pretty hard and we can’t always tie mess up with pretty ribbon and sit it in the corner and expect everything to be ok. its only when we are real about it and acknowledge it that we can allow ourselves to move forwards, one step at a time trusting that our father has got us and that He brings such restoration, grace, love, healing and fullness of life to us. Also hope for an incredible future living out His crazy wild plans for our lives. More Lord.
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